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Friday, November 23, 2012

Clarification for the Doubters

I want to talk a little bit more about Yonas's sponsorship and why I dropped it for those of you who are doubting me and posting comments (that I deleted, by the way) judging me and downright being hateful for no reason, and then not even being courageous enough to post your name. An annoymus judgemental comment is pretty classy, I'm just saying.

Anyway, it was first stated that I dropped Yonas because "Africa isn't my favorite country at the moment." I think it should first be said, that Africa is a continent, not a country. Yonas was from Ethiopia. That's a country. I love Africa. If you would have chosen to at least look at my blog, before you posted your comment, you would have seen that my very first sponsored child is Abu-Bakarr is from Sierra Leone (that's a country) in Africa. I have sponsored him for almost 5 years and I love him with my whole heart. Him and his grandmother are two of the most wonderful human beings on this planet.

In your comment, you then brought up that I asked for help to sponsor Sandesh from India, and then dropped Yonas. You said something along the lines of I should be using that money for Yonas. Well, that wouldn't be very honest, would it? Taking the money that people donated for one child and using for another? I asked for people to help out and come together to sponsor Sandesh, because I believe that it was the right thing to do. Many people have a child sponsored through their blog, by generous donations by their readers and I don't see anything wrong that. If you look back a little, you can see that I set up this blog sponsorship before I cancelled Yonas's sponsorship. When I did this, I had enough money to sponsor Yonas. I was not looking to replace Yonas with Sandesh. What an insensitive thing to assume.

You did mention in your comment that it was confusing that I was talking about sponsoring another boy from Albania. You do have a point there. Here's the thing, I should have been more clear in what I was trying to say. Me wanting to sponsor another boy in Albania is a far off dream. I will not have the money to sponsor another child for around another year, if I even have it then. I was simply stating that I love those Albanian boys and I think it would be great to sponsor another one someday. Someday does not meant today. And when that someday arrives, maybe I will be able to look up Yonas again, maybe I won't. I sure hope by then, he has another sponsor.

Now that I think I've addressed all of the  parts of your comment, I'm going to tell you why I stopped sponsoring Yonas, even if the nature of your comment doesn't really deserve it. I currently have two jobs. One full time job teaching and one part time job working with the children at my church. Due to circumstances in my church and rearranging of staff members, I will not be able to work as many hours as I was. The sad truth is that means less money for me. That lead to me having to make the horrible decision of cancelling one of my sponsorships, one that was not taken lightly. I prayed about it for a month. And that prayer lead me to the decision that I made. I was not going to cancel the sponsorships with children I've had long enough to form a relationship with, I was not going to cancel the sponsorship of the child I will be visiting, and I will not be cancelling the sponsorships of the children in India, the country that God most calls me and my heart to. That left one child. As sad as it is, it was something that I had to do. I did not want to do it.

No sponsor wants to drop their children, but I truly believe that God is in every circumstance and every situation. As hard as this choice was for me, I feel at peace about it and sometimes, difficult decisions are what God is calling us to do. I know that God is with Yonas and God will lead Yonas to his perfect sponsor, since I clearly could not be that for him.

I urge you, annoymus commenter, to think about how your words may affect somebody, before you post them. You did not have the background knowledge of this situation and you did not know the agonizing decision that this was for me, before you commented. I hope that this blog post clears it up a little bit for you.

8 comments:

  1. Anyone who posts an anonymous comment like that is a complete coward. I'm amazed that people do such mean, hateful things. What you do with your sponsorships and your money is YOUR business. No one else has a right to come down on you for anything or tell you what to do.

    I think it's pretty clear from your blog that you have a big heart for these kids and a big heart for the impoverished in general. Anyone who has read your blog for longer than 20 seconds would realize that your decision to drop Yonas' sponsorship was really difficult.

    The fact of the matter is, things happen with our finances. They just do. It sucks, but it is what it is, and meeting your own basic needs first is more important.

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    1. Thank you, Emily, it's very nice to have you as a constant reader and commenter. I know that you understand what this situation means to me and I appreciate it.

      I was just going to delete the comment and ignore if, but I feel that was cowardly on my part, and other people were probably feeling the same way as the annonymos commenter did and I really just wanted to clear things up.

      This blog post may or may not be taken well, but I know that my readers that have been around for awhile aren't going to let one comment change how they feel about me. If I do lose some readers because I dropped a sponsorship, so be it.

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  2. Kris (georgedarling)November 23, 2012 at 4:32 PM

    Hi Kayla,
    I have been praying for you because I know you didn't want to lose Yonas. I will pray with you that he finds a new sponsor very soon.

    Posting a critical comment anonymously is so not cool. It doesn't give you a chance to face your accuser.

    Try not to worry about it. God knows your heart.

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    1. Thank you very much for your prayers, Kris. It means more to me than you know. I am so happy that you understand. I was feeling completely peaceful about this situation until that bully posted that comment today. I'm going to pray again for God's peace to let me know that everything is going to be okay with Yonas.

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  3. I will admit my comment wasn't kind, but neither is your response. You also twisted so much of what I said. To make yourself feel better you harped on the country thing. I never said Africa was a country. I mentioned that Yonas was from Africa. Had he been from your fave country at this moment, India, you yourself said "no way" would you drop a child from India. I never said Africa is a country. You go on & on about that like it is a big deal just to build yourself up.
    I also NEVER said you should use the money you got from other people to sponsor the young Indian boy to pay for Yonas sponsorship. I was clear. I said you ought to use YOUR OWN money (money you earn) to support Yonas since you committed to him. You asked for money for the boy in India and for your trip, but you aren't willing to use your own earnings for Yonas. That was my point. You're clearly willing to let others pay for your sponsorship needs, and not use your own earnings for the same purpose.
    You also completely disregarded my concern that you brag about disrespecting your parent's advice. You laugh about it in words. This goes against so much the Bible teaches us about honoring our parents. If your sponsored children read such things how do you think they would feel about you? WOuld you encourage them to flaunt their disrespect for their own parents.
    I obviously hit a nerve and your angered reaction shows it. If you were comfortable with your choice you would not have to be so defensive and dishonest (twisting my comments after deleting them).
    I am sorry I wrote what I wrote and I wish I hadn't, but you just made it worse with your insincere response only meant to drum up support to make you feel better about letting this precious boy down.
    ANd if you don't want ANonymous comments you shouldn't have it as an option.
    I will NOT comment again...so you do not have to worry about that unless there is something you wish to ask of me I will not initiate another conversation/comment.
    I wish you all the best.

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    1. I want to thank you for coming back and reading this post. I feel that I, in no way, twisted your comments. You did, in fact, say that "Africa is not your favorite country right now." I wish there was a way to bring the comment back and show it to you, but there is not.

      I feel that I am not at all angry in this blog post and I think I used words that describe my points about how I feel about what you said.

      As far as the obeying your parents comment: I would absolutely tell my sponsored children to not listen to something their parents said to them if they believed it wasn't true or honest. My parents have taught me that heaven isn't real and that God and his son, Jesus don't exist and that I should not be rescuing children in Jesus' name. Am I to trust them just because they tell me that's what is true? If my sponsored children's parents tell them not to follow something that God is calling them to do, then yes, I tell them to disobey their parents. I don't think that's disrespect at all. I think that is respecting their heaveny Father more than their earthly parents, which the bible does say to do.

      I did not wish this to turn into an arguement and I'm sorry you feel as if I'm twisting your comments and being angry. I would love to retain you as a reader and commenter, since you do bring up good points. I think we can both agree that in the future, we can use kinder words to each other. Forgiveness trumps all in the end, anyway.

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  4. Well, since you just invited me to stay and comment (feel free to revoke that invitation if you wish & I'll understand)...I'll say this:

    I'm sorry about the whole thing and the strife it caused if any. And I should've limited my comment in the first place to the part that I was truly troubled by which I still do not understand your point of view on. As you know there have been some issues w/people asking for $$. The fact that you asked for $$ for Sandesh and are still asking for $$ for your trip, and in the same time period are dropping your own previously sponsored child just doesn't seem right or fair to him (Yonas). If you were short on $$ why add Sandesh? Or why plan a trip over $2000? It just seems like you're banking on other people paying for these things while you yourself are not fulfilling the financial commitment to Yonas. If you just can't afford it that is totally understandable, but signing up for an expensive trip at the same time you say you can't afford a sponsorship just doesn't add up.
    You probably have very good intentions that I just don't see, and that is my shortcoming, not yours. If I've further offended you in any way I'm sorry, but if you could clarify this for me it would help me understand. You don't owe me that explanation of course & I don't expect it.
    Best Regards.

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    1. I am no longer asking for money for my trip. I took into consideration what you said in your last comment and took down the last posts asking for money and the box collecting money for the trip. The trip will be funded completely by me and my family members who are helping me pay for it.

      It comes down to this, the reason I am going on this trip, is because I feel called to go. God calls us to do things that seem impossible sometimes, like me raising money for this trip. I know that God is going to provide the money for this trip somehow, whether it's me finding another job or somehow taking more hours at work or if it's generous people donating money to the cause. God wants me to go. It's hard to explain a call from God in words, but that's what is happening in this situation. I feel like I am making the right decisions with my money. I wish I could better explain it to you. Sometimes I have trouble finding the words when it comes to what God is putting on my heart.

      The truth is, is that I cannot afford this trip. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to come up with $2000 to go, but the money isn't due until next spring, so I'm praying that God shows me the way.


      I will continue to ask for money for Sandesh. I think a blog that is completely about children and sponsorship is a perfect place for people to come together in a sponsorship. People that may or may not have enough money to sponsor a new child of their own, but would still like to help. I'm part of other blog sponsorships and thought it would be a wonderful idea to start one on my blog too. If there ever comes a time when people are no longer helping to sponsor Sandesh, I will take over. But, for now, he is completely paid through June, through generous people wanting to help out. I will never see people donating money to save children as a negative thing.

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