Now before you shield your eyes or close your browser, this is not going to be rated X, I swear.
I was given a book a LONG time ago by a good friend. It's called Weird and it's written by Craig Groeschel. Basically, the purpose of this book is to let us know that in order to live our lives how God truly wants us to live, other people are going to think we're weird. Actually, they NEED to think that we're weird or we're trying to please the world.
I was doing really well reading this book, feeling really confident as I read through the sections on Time, Money, and Relationships. People already think I'm crazy because a majority of my time is devoted to prayer, going to church, and writing letters to six children that I've never met in person. People already think I'm crazy because I spend a crazy fraction of my paycheck on sponsoring these children. (Not to mention all the money I spend on sending them gifts). And people already think I'm weird because I've never had a boyfriend. I've honestly never met a guy who is as weird as I am. Somebody that would rather go to church every weekend than to the bars every weekend, somebody that understands that a large portion of my paycheck will always go to sponsoring children, somebody that loves God as much as I do and that will understand that God will always be first in my life.
However, when I got to the section on Sex, I got a little caught up. It probably goes without saying that since I've never had a boyfriend before, I've also never had sex before. I am 22 years old and I'm a virgin. Yes, it's true.
And for some reason, this has been bothering me lately. By lately I mean the last year or so, since my 22nd birthday.
It's mostly bothering me because I am the only person in my group of friends who has not had sex before. I'm not saying this in the way that a high schooler would say, "But everyone else is doing it!" as a way to get their parents to agree to something. I'm being serious. I am the only one in my group of friends that is a virgin. My friends are okay with it, but at the same time, they think I'm super weird. What kind of 20-something is a virgin? That's just weird!
They have convinced me that this is weird. On my 22nd birthday, my best friends and I made a plan that if I was still a virgin on my 23rd birthday, we would find somebody for me to have sex with just to "get it over with."
Well, now that I am just about two weeks away from my 23rd birthday, I think I got to this part of the book just in time. The author has a passage that really got to me. I've heard things similar to this over and over again in my life, but they have never seemed to "stick" quite like this one.
" To understand the true stickiness of sex, we need to go back to the beginning. God's plan for man and woman being together seems straightforward right from the start: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife (Adam and Eve) were both naked, and they felt no shame." (Gen. 2:24-25).
When a man and his wife are united, they share in the covenant expression of lovemaking. In God's perfect plan, the virgin husband enters into the virgin wife. With his penetration, she sheds bloods. (As with all sacred convenants, blood is shed). A holy, righteous physical moment seals their spiritual convenant. They can be naked together with out being ashamed, joined in sexual union as two become one.
Sex joins two people spirtually and emotionally, as well as physically. This is its purpose - to bond a couple together. Sex connects and fuses people together. It's sticky. Similarly, if you're stuck to someone and you try to pull loose, it's going to hurt. You're both going to leave pieces of yourselves behind.
Imagine you took a length of really sticky tape, like duct tape or gorilla tape, and stuck it to your shirt. What if you pulled that off and stuck it to somebody else? What if you pulled it off again and stuck it someone else? What if you did this ten times? Twenty? A hundred? After a certain point, no matter how hard you try, you can't it to stick to anyone, because the tape is no longer sticky. You're left a bit of whatever-makes-tape-sticky with each person you encountered.
Of course, sex is more powerful that duct tape. When you become physically intimate with another person, it bonds you. It unites you. It's sticky. Then when you end that relationship and go to another person, you've lost some of your stickiness. The more you do it, the less special it becomes. The less you have left of your heart and soul and uniqueness to give to the next person. Over time and among many partners, you're not very sticky anymore. It's harder to bond. More difficult to unite. You can't maintain a relationship. The other person doesn't feel connected to you, and you don't feel connected to anyone. Teach your kids to hold on to their stickiness for the person to whom they want to be stuck to for the rest of their lives."
Wow...yeah...I think I'm going to wait until I'm married.
But, while I'm being honest with my thoughts of sex, I sure hope I get married someday!
Also, I've started this new thing where I'm going to start praying for my future husband everyday. I have no idea who he is, but I want God to watch over him and help lead us together.