Tuesday, May 15, 2012


I've been trying to process it for a few days now. My life is going great.

I have a wonderful job that I feel truly blessed to have. I was called to teach at a young age, I went to college for early childhood education, I graduated on May 15th, 2011, I started my job as a preschool teacher on May 23rd, 2011. It was as if God had it planned that way the whole.

Did I mention that my job is in my hometown? I found a dream teaching job, in an economy that hates teachers, in my own town, the same town that I can drive 15 minutes in to see my family.

I have amazing friends. Sure, at this point, they are spread out across the world. My two best friends are a few hours away and almost a continent away, respectively. Despite this, we talk frequently.

I have a wonderful family, both biological and given to me by God. I talk to these family members on a daily basis. They are loving, encouraging, and happy to talk to me about anything.

I have a potential relationship brewing. I haven't told many people about this because I don't want to jinx anything (yes, part of me is superstitious, especially when it comes to dating, since it happens so rarely.)

I sponsor six wonderful children. I am constantly blessed by these children. Every word they write to me is full of love, hope, and gratitude. It is me who is truly thankful for them.

Even though so many things in my life are going well, I have this longing. My heart is longing for more. Every ounce of my heart and soul longs to be in heaven.

I don't mean for this to be a negative thing. I don't want to die. I'm not feeling depressed or suicidal in any manner. I have just been learning so much lately, through various books, songs, and blog posts, and I have been given visions of heaven through other people. I know how amazing it's going to be.

I don't want to go to heaven alone. I want to bring my family, friends, and sponsored children with me.

I want the world, as we know it, to end. I long for the rapture. I want to stand before God and (hopefully) have him tell me that I was a faithful and loving servant. I long to walk through those heavenly gates and worship God for all eternity. I long to hug my sponsored children. I want to have a picnic with them, I want to praise God with them. I want to tell them how much I love them. I want to hear their voices.

I want to know that all suffering on Earth is gone. I don't want to see any more news stories about children dying in poverty, teenagers being bullied because of their sexuality, mothers killing their children, teachers abusing their students, politicians taking money away from important things and using it to buy bombs.

I just can't take it anymore.

I don't belong here. I know it.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Someday, everything will be perfect.

Are you as excited as I am for heaven?!

Also, if God knows me at all, which I'm pretty sure he does (haha), heaven will have a place like this that I can run around in...


  1. This was a beautiful post, I am so excited to get to meet my sponsored children, meet family members I have never met before and just see how amazing heaven is!!

    1. I hope that I die and go to heaven long before my sponsored children do, unless we all go at the same time, of course. I hope there is a list of arriving souls because I will be at the heavenly gates waiting to embrace my sponsored "children" when they come to heaven.