Loss of Fongwin (Again)

I've been putting off posting about this because it has broken my heart. I've been processing and praying about it.

Last Monday, so nearly two weeks ago now, I got a call from Compassion. Getting a phone call from Compassion is very rarely a good thing. On a few occasions, they'll call you about one of your children graduating, but other than that, those operators aren't going to call you just to say hi.

So, I answered the phone and found out that I would no longer be sponsoring Fongwin because he has chosen to leave the program. I was told that Fongwin has been skipping project days for a very long time. As attendance is required (unless there are good excuses), Fongwin's project staff members at down with him and his parents and explained to him the attendance policy. He was also told of what the consequences would be if he continued to skip project days. However, even after these meetings, Fongwin would keep skipping project days, even when his parents would send him. Because Compassion wants to support as many children as they can, Fongwin was pulled from the project. The Compassion project can't help a child that doesn't attend, right? I fully support that policy, but that doesn't make it any easier, because I love Fongwin.

Fongwin is 13 years old and is, obviously, going though some rebellious teenage times, which I can completely understand. Being a teenager can suck. It can be so difficult as you're sorting out who you are and who you wish to become. Do you continue to listen to your parents and teachers or do you rebel and try your own thing? As somebody who had some difficult teen years, I can't help but think this is something I may have done, if I was in Fongwin's shoes. I hung out with people who didn't make good decisions in life and I chose to follow along with them. If I was in Fongwin's shoes, would I have quit attending the project? Who knows. But, now that I am an adult, I can see the error of some of the decisions I made as a teenager. I don't regret my decisions, but I do sometimes wonder if things would have been different had I chosen another path. I desperately hope that Fongwin is able to grow up and not regret his decision to leave the Compassion project. I hope that he can continue to attend school without Compassion's help. I pray that he remembers that God loves him and is watching out for him. I pray for his safety because I don't know what is leading him away from the project. There are so many "I don't knows" in this situation and it breaks my heart. A friend recently gave me hope by sharing with me that one of her Compassion children went through something similar and grew into a wonderful young woman. I can only hope the same for Fongwin.

Fongwin was my correspondent child for years because he lost his financial sponsors. I decided to take over his sponsorship because I could not bear with the idea of losing him. Unfortunately, in this current situation, the choice is not up to me. I wish it was.

So, to my sweet boy, Fongwin. I will never forget you. I will keep praying for you. I hope you find what you are looking for in life. I hope that you remember how much you are loved by God. I hope you keep my letters and read them and remember how much I love you. I loved our years together, young man. I hope to reconnect with you, somehow, in the future.