Trust can be confusing sometimes.
I briefly mentioned my word of the year in my Shoes, Shoes, Shoes post a few days ago, but I didn't come straight out and talk about it. I started thinking of my word for 2013 at the beginning of December. Well, actually, I didn't really have to do much thinking. I thought it once and the word was there. Simple.
Last year, for 2012, I focused on the word patience. I worked very hard to have patience in my life, patience with my students, patience when it came to waiting for letters from my sponsored children, especially patience when it came to waiting for God to show me the next steps in my life. Over these last 12 months, I feel as if I have grown immensely! I have truly learned to slow down, pray about things seriously, and I feel as if I am able to discern the voice of God in my life, showing me where to go next.
Now that I am able to dicern what God is telling me, it's time to start trusting that voice, eh? There's a fine line between believing that God knows what's best for me and actually trusting and going along with what he says, isn't there?
Two weeks ago, I chose to finally watch the short documentary Prevailing Hope. I was given this youtube video to watch many months ago. I simply bookmarked it and ignored it. I sat down and for the next half hour, I was glued to my computer screen. This documentary shook me to the very core of my heart. I swear I felt my heart break into a million pieces for the children living in this area of Brazil. Children living here are often encouraged by their own mothers, fathers, grandparents, to sell their bodies on the street for money. Children as young as 4 and 5 years old are prostituting themselves for mere dollars in this slum in Brazil. I encourage you to watch this video. Please, find a half hour of empty time, and watch this:
After seeing this short documentary, I was wrecked. There was absolutely no going back to my normal life knowing that children are living like this in our world. I just could not handle it. It's just not fair. I don't know how else to describe it.
Then, as if by some divine action (it absolutely was) I across a post on Our Compassion asking for sponsors for children from this exact area of Brazil. Children just like the ones in the video, living in small, dirty homes with too many people, seeing extreme violence, experiencing sexual abuse, and learning that they are not worth it, not even worth keeping their bodies and minds safe.
I. Could. Not. Handle. It.
I sponsored one of these little girls. I just had to. I don't know how else to say it. I absolutely had to. I thought about it for a couple days and over and over again, I could hear God saying, "Trust me, trust me, trust me."
How could I argue with that?
So, I didn't. Without further ado, meet sweet Dafyne:
She is 4 years old. She lives with her mother and 1 sibling. She lives in a area where there is constant pressure, even at her young age, to sell her body on the streets to feed her family and herself. In her picture, she is wearing the updated version of the tank top the children are wearing in the documentary you just watched. That probably means that she did not have her own appropriate clothing. And, she is currently in kindergarten with above average performance. In an area with very little hope, there is hope in this little girl.
I am beyond blessed.